I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
