I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
