Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
