..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
