He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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