I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i think my cat just said my name.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
