i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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