Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
