You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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