My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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