you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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