Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
