Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
time to smoke my breakfast
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
