but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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