I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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