No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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