Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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