question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
