It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
