Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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