i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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