went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
