Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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