This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Randomize
