now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
