i think my tv is drunk
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
