I think I just saw someone hide a body.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
