you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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