ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the day after is always just damage control
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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