You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
