I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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