? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
