he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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