Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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