Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
