Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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