I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
