He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
