so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
