I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
