I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
