Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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