just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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