Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I love you. Go after that dick
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
