I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
