you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
