Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She needs sedatives and a leash
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
