She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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