i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
