I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
