Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
